T.E.N.S.I.O.N.

I am going CRAZY. I have summonses, fines and money that I owe friends to settle; on top of that I have a Ko-Q DINNER that needs paying. PLUS I have an upcoming EXAM. Assignments I have NOT done, thank you very much; I will have no money to go to KL, to go for my semesterly ritual to seek refuge there at my aunt's place during study week. Will miss October's Men's Health. Will have little money left for myself. Will run out of supplies. Will run out of SANITY.

BLEAK.

DEPRESSED.

EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE.

DESPAIR.

BOREDOM.

FEAR OF WHAT THE FUTURE BRINGS.

EMPTINESS.

FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES.

NO LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.

ZOMBIE-LIKE.

~shall i slit my wrist now?~

Today in History LOL~

had to pull myself outta bed today - slept at 3.30am then woke up at 7.00am - one hour early than intended. so i let myself sleep for another hour, but practically kept one eye open - i've had nasty experience of oversleeping these extra hours, so i'd better be cautious. so then i woke up at 7.48am. executed the daily cleansing ritual, and headed to class.

class was sleepy, as always - scribbled notes to prevent dozing off. but one hour was my absolute attention span limit with an empty stomach, so 10-11 was spent chatting with my coursemates and fiddling with my phones. afterwards, i thought i'd have brunch with coursemates but no, they were occupied with other stuff, so i decided to pay a visit to the pejabat bendahari. wow, i thought - nobody's in. the tally signalled 1042. i pressed the number dispenser - 1043. the kakak at the counter promptly pressed the next button. my turn...gave her a sheepish smile, handed her my summonses slip. she then said adik, dorg blom key-in la. i was like @$#^%$# ...how could they have not keyed-in the summponses. i went to pay late on purpose because i knew they'd need time to key it in, but this is unacceptable. so i told her thanks, asked a bit about the JPA thing, then said thanks again before heading out. messaged my friend to tell him i'd be in my room so if he finished class he'd fetch me there for lunch outside. before heading back i went to the kiosk in fron of the mosque to buy some snacks: bread pudding and custard cakes (i think), plus kiwi juice. then i headed back. had lunch later, finished it, and now i'm typing this entry.

now there's some sort of function at the cafe (i think) coz it sounds so noisy and happening up there. thunder's booming up in the sky - a downpour is expected. i dunno what's gonna happen to me - so little time to jog now. i think i'd start morning jogs instead - the weathers peachy in the morning. hu3~

To Dearest LM:

- I have no say in your life; you shall go wherever you choose.

- Know that you'll always be near and dear in my life.

- I will cherish the moments that we had.

- Nobody will ever replace you, nobody will be able to.

- Wherever you chose to go, may happiness follow you.

- THANK YOU, LM.

It's PERPLEXING~

It's PERPLEXING...~

I really don't need the extra stress now, but I am starting to juggle, and that only means one thing: I'm Getting...F4T!!! It's such a dirty word, the mere mention of it send shivers down my spine. And yet, I can't resist the Malaysian pastime of EATING...

Just got back from cafe - Shelly's Nasi Lemak and Rice+Tempeh+Kangkung in hand...with a guilty conscience in mind. Perhaps it was another being controlling my body when I bought these. Their Nasi Lemak is irresistible...Hu3~

New Eating Plan:
- Lessen Carbs
- Moderate Protein Intake
- More Veggies (especially purgative/laxative ones; ie fibre-rich)

Please, I've worked hard to achieve this..don't let it slip away....:(

Nothing to Do...?

Had nothing to do - decided to pick up the loose change that is strewn all over my room - always step on them - why not pick'em up for a change (no pun intended) - search every nook and cranny - PICK UP PICK UP PICK UP - tally them up - RM4.10

ABC & AIS JAGUNG, ANYONE? :D