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thus begins Survey Camp II for Geoinformatics class semester one year three.
may everything goes well.
Lord help us.
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Monday, November 29, 2010
communicate
as muslims we are taught ways to communicate to the Creator Allah SWT such as through compulsory prayers, doa, various religious duties and even through our daily activities.
creativity is bestowed upon us by Him too. therefore, in my opinion by exercising the talents that we have, we are also communicating with Him. i feel closer to Him when i am creating something (such as for KRA). i also find that when i have strong emotions such as when times are hard, i feel a song (or some) coming up in my heart that is able to soothe me. i feel that this is another way that He has provided for me to feel closer to Him, to communicate my feelings effectively. i find that these songs are comforting to me.
Whitney Houston - I Look To You
As I lay me down,
Heaven hear me now.
I'm lost without a cause
After giving it my all.
Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun.
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to?
I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.
About to lose my breathe,
There's no more fighting left,
Sinking to rise no more,
Searching for that open door.
And every road that I've taken
Lead to my regret.
And I don't know if I'm going to make it.
Nothing to do but lift my head
I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.
My levees are broken
My walls have come
Tumbling down on me
The rain is falling.
Defeat is calling.
I need you to set me free.
Take me far away from the battle.
I need you.
Shine on me.
I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.
and also this:
Maher Zain - InsyaAllah
Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can't see which way to go
Don't despair and never lose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah 2x
Insya Allah you'll find your way
Every time you can make one more mistake
You feel you can't repent
And that its way too late
Your're so confused,wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don't despair and never lose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah 2x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Insya Allah 2x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Turn to Allah
He's never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don`t let me go astray
You're the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way 2x
Insya Allah 2x
Insya Allah we`ll find the way
insomnia
insomniac entry.
i went to sleep at 3.30am after packing up stuff. yeah, i thought we get to stay in our rooms for the SC. the least i want to do is to just store my stuff in my room. but the damned KRP is evicting us. they have a program coming up and our rooms are booked for the participants. way to go for being so helpful.
and then i woke up abruptly at 4am. i was awakened by a minor sound. and the study lamp was on because Juju's studying for his exam tomorrow so it was another point against my restful slumber (i can't sleep with the lights on). what's affecting my sleep this much is that i am so damn nervous about the SC later (in about three hours) and also about the eviction from KRP. i'd be so damn busy i won't know how to manage it - the times we get a rest is also the lunchtime slot for the office. and we'd end the day session at office closing time. damn it! i hope my dear rommie will help me settle the storage requirements with the office.
had a brief texting session with my sweetie. that was the longest session in DAYS... i want to chat more but i was in the middle of something (packing for stuff, et cetera)... i really want more. i feel that we are drifting apart. i am afraid of that. i don't wanna lose you. but the situation seems to work against us... :(( i love you my mucuk... miss you so much.
i went to sleep at 3.30am after packing up stuff. yeah, i thought we get to stay in our rooms for the SC. the least i want to do is to just store my stuff in my room. but the damned KRP is evicting us. they have a program coming up and our rooms are booked for the participants. way to go for being so helpful.
and then i woke up abruptly at 4am. i was awakened by a minor sound. and the study lamp was on because Juju's studying for his exam tomorrow so it was another point against my restful slumber (i can't sleep with the lights on). what's affecting my sleep this much is that i am so damn nervous about the SC later (in about three hours) and also about the eviction from KRP. i'd be so damn busy i won't know how to manage it - the times we get a rest is also the lunchtime slot for the office. and we'd end the day session at office closing time. damn it! i hope my dear rommie will help me settle the storage requirements with the office.
had a brief texting session with my sweetie. that was the longest session in DAYS... i want to chat more but i was in the middle of something (packing for stuff, et cetera)... i really want more. i feel that we are drifting apart. i am afraid of that. i don't wanna lose you. but the situation seems to work against us... :(( i love you my mucuk... miss you so much.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
self reflection
a lot of good-intentioned people in my life have said this to me, and not to mention the countless reminders and advices from religious and moral factions: "kita haruslah muhasabah diri" which loosely translates to "we should perform self-reflection". it is a necessity for us as humans to gauge our habits and attitudes as human, in looking at ourselves whether we are being the best human being we could be.
it has always been used as a weapon against me whenever i fight with anyone. the other side will say that i am selfish, and only care about myself. when i turn to mum for some moral support, she would also come to the same kind of conclusion. after listening to such statements, i would reconsider myself. perhaps i am (back in those days i am the wrong one, it seems; this comes from my own assessment) alhamdulillah, i grow with each conflict; before blowing up, i would think, am i being inconsiderate? yes i am. hence i won't fight.
but lately it has been a different matter altogether. i think hard before blowing up, and it really is't my fault, and i have every right to start the fight. but it feels like a global conspiracy: in the end the accusing finger always, always can be pointed back at me; i seem to be at fault. it's demoralizing, honestly.
but now, i have gone through a lot of self-reflection (evident in the periods of silence i have when being around peers and when i am by myself). i am not to blame for the conflicts. i am not being inconsiderate. it is them that are wrong. so why am i still being blamed? perhaps they are taking advantage of my niceties, of my ability to self-reflect and use it against me. past wrongs should not be used to stoke the flames of a current conflict.
now i know better. alhamdulillah for the guidance from Him. no more Nazmi the good guy.
it has always been used as a weapon against me whenever i fight with anyone. the other side will say that i am selfish, and only care about myself. when i turn to mum for some moral support, she would also come to the same kind of conclusion. after listening to such statements, i would reconsider myself. perhaps i am (back in those days i am the wrong one, it seems; this comes from my own assessment) alhamdulillah, i grow with each conflict; before blowing up, i would think, am i being inconsiderate? yes i am. hence i won't fight.
but lately it has been a different matter altogether. i think hard before blowing up, and it really is't my fault, and i have every right to start the fight. but it feels like a global conspiracy: in the end the accusing finger always, always can be pointed back at me; i seem to be at fault. it's demoralizing, honestly.
but now, i have gone through a lot of self-reflection (evident in the periods of silence i have when being around peers and when i am by myself). i am not to blame for the conflicts. i am not being inconsiderate. it is them that are wrong. so why am i still being blamed? perhaps they are taking advantage of my niceties, of my ability to self-reflect and use it against me. past wrongs should not be used to stoke the flames of a current conflict.
now i know better. alhamdulillah for the guidance from Him. no more Nazmi the good guy.
#360
360th post for my love... thanks for having me in your life. i must learn to be better, to be as positive and optimistic like you :)
*****
When You Tell Me That You Love Me - Diana Ross
I wanna call the stars
Down from the sky
I wanna live a day
That never dies
I wanna change the world
Only for you
All the impossible
I wanna do
I wanna hold you close
Under the rain
I wanna kiss your smile
And feel the pain
I know what's beautiful
Looking at you
In a world of lies
You are the truth
And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me
I wanna make you see
Just what I was
Show you the loneliness
And what it does
You walked into my life
To stop my tears
Everything's easy now
I have you here
And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me
In a world without you
I would always hunger
All I need is your love to make me stronger
And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me
You love me
When you tell me that you love me
*****
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