Friday, April 30, 2010

Ask me anything

Only He knows the tempest of emotions within.


I'm Sorry

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that i like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up,and didn't get mad at you for
puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off
in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be
thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours,
instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was
what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was
threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done
something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys
out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies next
time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that
special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in
head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

April 26th & 27th, In A Nutshell

..:: DAY EIGHT ::..

- first day of labwork: getting acquainted with GIS-related software. kinda daunted but curious.
- lecturer-in-charge: Mr Ivin. the one with the big DSLR. impressive!
- first software: ArcGIS. primarily ArcMap and ArcCatalog.
- first impression: P.I.T.A!!! Almost wept due to the sheer frustration. frustration because of inability to install (5x and still unable; lastly PUDIN came to the rescue and now i'm happily tucking in to ArcGIS) and also beBoldcause of the inability to catch up.
- juju's hammies were abducted.
- frustration also due to the need to catch up on report - gotta finish to send to prof!!!
- slept at 4am. woke up at 7am.

..:: DAY NINE ::..

- fine start - feeling groggy and C-O-L-D.
- go to class feeling unwell - ate my last NIPS pack and popped two Panadols. feeling a bit better.
- continue with ArcGIS stuff - got the hang of it and have tried disseminating what little knowledge i have to anyone who wants my help. insyaAllah it shall carry great weight in the afterlife ;)
- went back in the evening; rested for one hour. showered, swept my warzone-cum-bedroom and went to wait for the bus.
- night classes; finished letting my work be checked by Mr Ivin. wrote this blog in class to avoid forgetting yesterday's stuff.
- report's done. new knowledge obtained. feeling (kinda) happy. trying to keep everything sunny and fine...avoid emo at all costs. having Charlie Chaplin's Smile in my head at all times. the mantra:


miss my family~


me mum n dad

nak balik... (T.T)