..:: melancholia ::..

came back from my evening run. rest myself, let the sweat dry, my heartbeat slow down. read a fellow friend's blog while the internet connection is still available.

i cried. even though it's not mine, it's still about family - the only thing i allow myself to cry about. it is about his brother's passing. condolences to him and his family.

al-fatihah.

:'(

2:51am

* came back from late night with syaz and nisa - shisha and drinks. it's a weekly fix :P

* a big thanks to them - feel like a big baby with my emo state at KDSE just now. sorry girls~

* kamireka projects galore - hang in there my design mates! :D

i'm annoyed by you.

i'm tired.

sure, you wanted it.

let's go on a cold war.

bye.

*******

i'm sorry if i didn't text you.

i'm sorry if i have done something wrong.

i'm sorry if i left you out in the cold.

i'm sorry if i have forsaken you.

i'm sorry if i have abandoned you physically, emotionally, or mentally.

i'm sorry.

please forgive me.

i'm really really sorry :(

******

heartbreak

this is tough. FAR tougher than i thought. what mental, physical and emotional preparations that i have made in anticipation of the blow that is a venture proves to be insufficient - Lord have mercy, and give me and my fellow mates the strength, patience and faith to overcome this obstacle.

i'm disappointed when those near and dear to me don't seem to be supportive, sometimes even being nasty about what i'm passionate about. when your loved ones are skeptical (and even at times contemptuous) about something you're passionate about - what are you supposed to do? how does one face that?

on a different note: there's a difference between failing at something and being denied a chance of even trying it. in the former, at least we would have a chance at it; the latter proves to be very hard to live with - you have all the power, the energy and the ability to execute something. yet you are denied of even ONE chance to do it.

every time i think about it, hear about it, see it - i die a little. it is a gash in my heart that will never heal. never, ever EVER heal. say all you want about how i'm being so melodramatic - i can forgive you, because you have absolutely NO idea how important it was to me.

..:: Unexpected ::..

I got my laptop back - I sent it off to a computer store to get it formatted into Windows 7. It took me this long because (a) I was waiting for the dough to be here and (b) I'm looking around for a formatting service that offers a legitimate Windows 7 because don't want to get a cheap knockoff of the OS. I got it back at 9pm yesterday (four hours later than expected) and I got almost all the necessary software back in, and I'm back online!

The weekend was almost a bust - Nisa and Syaz (our friends who knows how to drive) are off with their respective boyfriends, so it's just me and Mimi left on our lonesome, stuck in UTM. And as I thought my Saturday would not get any more boring, Dyana and Sherry took me out to town :)

I thought I'd be spending the day with Dyana and Sherry's friends because one of them had their birthday on Saturday. But turns out it's just the three of us, and we're heading for the JB Zoo. I haven't been there and it's been AGES since I've seen a real animal other than rats, cats, birds, squirrels and dogs, so I was kinda excited to go there.

So here are some of the shots that we had for the weekend. The camera was wonky. Dyana dropped it during the holidays. But it lends a certain LoMo quality that is all the buzz now.

We even snapped a pic with a lion cub - I'll scan it into Facebook or here ASAP! :D

We haven't had our lunch that afternoon, so we went to town to see some new spots. In a way it was a JB exploration day - trying out new spots in town instead of just holing up in a mall loitering. We went to IT ROO Cafe in the old part of town - it claimed to have the best chicken chop in JB. The price wasn't bank-breaking, and honestly it was very tasty. Atmosphere's good too - the evening was just fine, accompanied by a light breeze, rustic aura, and great people around us. We talked about wanting to feature the place on our food blog and I think the owner overheard - we got a lovely grin from him while paying. Too bad it didn't make the dunch (dinner+lunch) free of charge. Hahaha~

That night we planned to go to That's Cafe, a hip place that we've heard of but have never stepped into. I consulted a close friend of mine (Dan Gianni) about the place, and from what he said ("fashion cafe" and "that type of people decked in full regalia") we decided to get dressed in our best threads and be prepared. Turns out it's a quiet little cafe, not a crowded establishment. Servise is fast (I think me and Dyana were the only people who actually had something to eat there that night - I looked around and nobody's table had plates of pasta on them). It's prices are obviously inflated but nowhere extreme as I had imagined.

Before retiring to McD (the tradition), I got some shisha into my system. 'Nuff sed.

What was planned to be a late night study session turned out to be a night/dawn of revelations. More things got out in the open, feel free and uninhibited. I feel that our friendship got a bit stronger. That's good.

BFFs! :D