song(s) that made me cry

whenever i have a surge of emotion, i always find a song that is able to convey it. it is a way it allows me to communicate my feelings. a song selection at a particular time reflects what i'm feeling at the moment.

Adam Ahmad - Kau Pergi Jua when my paternal grandmother passed away

Hijau Daun - Suara (Ku Berharap) when my ex broke up with me

Maher Zain - InsyaAllah I must hold back the tears whenever I listen to this song

Lulu - To Sir With Love no apparent reason.

my dream house

i am but a single guy, so excuse me for the single guy's dream house... hehehe

my dream house is a simple apartment in the city, not the grungy ones but more of a middle-class/high-end apartment, almost a condo, actually. i want it to be on the higher if not the highest floor. it will be decorated and furnished at least 80% by IKEA. it will have a cozy living room with the sunlight streaming in from a wall height window every morning. the kitchen, of course will be fully-equipped. it's not a proper home without a fully-equipped kitchen and should be quite big. oh, and it HAS to have an island :)


the bedroom? of course i'd like to have a walk in closet, and a bathroom decked with products and a rainfall-type power shower (i heard they're quite nice). it will also have an office made from the extra room. the entertainment will also be in this room because i only want to have books and rugs n cushions in the living room, just a place to chill.


while skimming through the Chrome Web Store, i chanced upon this awesome app called the AutoDesk HomeStyler. go get it, it's fun. i had fun designing an apartment from it. it even allows us to view it in 3D! it isn't a true depiction of my dream house, as the resources were quite limited. hehehehe... here it is...

a non-fictional book

my favorite.

'nuff sed.

impromptu poetry 14/12/2010

i wonder what it'd be like

to stare into your eyes all day long

i wonder what it's like

to hold you in my arms

to smell your fragrant perfume

to feel the warmness of you

deep brown eyes

raven wavy hair

tanned complexion

slender figure

cheerful disposition

an omnipresent sense of humor

everything about you entices

and captivates me

i want to be there for you

rain or shine

to entertain you

to make you smile

to chase the pain away

to chase the fears away

yet with all these i am not able to have you

by my side, to be close to me

to hold and be held

because you're taken

let what i have

be a fleeting memory

be the whimsical play of

emotions and yearning

a fictional book

my posts of things i feature in this 30-day blog challenge may be repeating but that's how i am - very particular about stuff and when i get something good it will be on my top shelf, until something better comes by. but since not one book has been able to topple this one from the top shelf, i will feature it again: the Thief Of Time by Terry Pratchett.

this book has been on my best book list for so long i have forgotten what it's about. i vaguely remember something about an apprentice and the pursuit of something and the ability to travel to the past and the future. this book was borrowed from the library (love the state library!) and wasn't part of a planned reading; i was in the early days of picking up the fantasy genre. i had eight slots on my lib card (i am a bibliophile) and i don't know what else to borrow. the cover and title looks interesting, so i picked this book up. little did i know this would be the best book ever, and the book that spurred me into the fantasy genre.


what makes it awesome is the way it was written: no book (past and present) that i read is written like this one is. because it entails the story of a few characters within the same plot, therefore they were separated by a header that chronicles their movement. the thing is, since this book has time as the object of desire, the header also pictures the movement; for let's say, character A was moving, and then he/she uses his/her ability to move beyond time. the next header looks like this   "charac-" and then continued by the story of character B. and when A finishes moving through time, the header continues with "-ter A", usually on a few pages later. that was but one of the features of this book; the storyline was captivating. i found myself biting my fingernails most of the time due to the suspense.


well there it was: a fictional book.

something that i'm OCD about

i was prepared to type this out last night but i can't pinpoint what i am OCD about. sure i do have something that i am OCD about, but this is what usually happens: when you don't need it, it will be everywhere and will always be in your mind; but when the time comes to call for it you can't seem to think it up or to find it anywhere in the vast storage of your mind. so here it is: the thing that i am very OCD about is wearing the appropriate outfit for any occasion.


this is one of the cardinal rules of dressing that i adhere to: to wear an outfit appropriate to the situation. i really hate being overdressed or under-dressed for something. i have experienced both; and truly, it is the worst feeling. i would feel like a sore thumb sticking out amongst the crowd; me being a bit agoraphobic CERTAINLY would prefer blending in with the crowd. if going out with friends, i also prefer becoming a coherent part of the group, instead of being the under-dressed dork or the overdressed diva. once i didn't attend a function just because what i intended to wear at the function wasn't available i.e. in the laundry. haha


well there you go. something i am OCD about.


p/s: rumor has it that JPA is already out, and the ATM is temporarily unusable (system down) - a sign of the input of a large sum of cash. if it is true... would the first thing i buy be a camera or a phone? teeheehee :P

a thought kept to myself for so long

my allocated crying period may be over, but i still shed tears.


we know that in a relationship, the good and the bad should be shared among partners. i don't understand why you abhorred the fact so much. my attempt to be closer was met with resistance and thought as an "assault to your true self".


when i face difficult times in my life i cannot reach for the phone to text someone anymore. i have no reason to top-up my phone other than to pay for the RM1/week Twitter updates subscription. i cannot get up and grab my phone to text someone a good morning. i cannot send random "love you" and "miss you" texts anymore.


i know it's over but i still miss you. then i saw what you wrote about me and obviously you hated me. i was a burden for you, it seems. that was like a slap in the face. obviously then, it seems like we wasn't understanding each other's notion of love. hence the nasty breakup.


"to forgive is easy, but it's difficult to forget". i have forgiven you. no grudges, no hard feelings. you once made me smile. you once said to never leave you. we were once an item. we once promised to go on a holiday together, buy a ring to symbolize our union. we even pondered on meeting after when i get to the next semester. now all that is history. 


as the typical malay saying goes, "halalkan makan minum aku"; no use in holding on to someone who is intent on letting me go.

a photo of me recently

the pic of me 10 years ago i don't have with me right now, so i will delay it until i get home... so i will skip over to the next challenge :)

snapped on the 4th of december 2010

while waiting for a friend to come take me to lunch :)