Sunday, December 12, 2010

a thought kept to myself for so long

my allocated crying period may be over, but i still shed tears.


we know that in a relationship, the good and the bad should be shared among partners. i don't understand why you abhorred the fact so much. my attempt to be closer was met with resistance and thought as an "assault to your true self".


when i face difficult times in my life i cannot reach for the phone to text someone anymore. i have no reason to top-up my phone other than to pay for the RM1/week Twitter updates subscription. i cannot get up and grab my phone to text someone a good morning. i cannot send random "love you" and "miss you" texts anymore.


i know it's over but i still miss you. then i saw what you wrote about me and obviously you hated me. i was a burden for you, it seems. that was like a slap in the face. obviously then, it seems like we wasn't understanding each other's notion of love. hence the nasty breakup.


"to forgive is easy, but it's difficult to forget". i have forgiven you. no grudges, no hard feelings. you once made me smile. you once said to never leave you. we were once an item. we once promised to go on a holiday together, buy a ring to symbolize our union. we even pondered on meeting after when i get to the next semester. now all that is history. 


as the typical malay saying goes, "halalkan makan minum aku"; no use in holding on to someone who is intent on letting me go.


No comments: