a youtube video

you wouldn't believe how hard it is to go online. the line has been so effing slow. even typing this requires effort. shitty i tell you. here it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE_4RtpVVaw

i can't seem to resize the vid, and i HATE an abnormality on my page so imma give a link instead. enjoy! :P

a moment of weakness

i wasn't seeking reconciliation or anything like that. i know it's over.

i was just gonna say hi.

23/12/2010 random shots

disappointments

friends are her to be our companions and are people we can be ourselves with, and they also provide help and support in times of need. usually these things are unspoken and one shouldn't go and claim it, but what if the support is explicitly said but not delivered?


to be faced with an emotional turmoil in times when family and/or close friends aren't around is truly difficult. i have healed considerably from it and moved on, alhamdulillah. what i am not feeling now is the promised emotional support that was promised but not delivered. when you say you would deliver something, i expect it to be there. coupled with the fragile state of mind i was in, of course i'd be peeved right about now. it's not about whether i did succeed in weathering it alone, it was about delivering the promise that you made. it isn't expected if you didn't explicitly say it, but you did say what you would do to help me but you didn't deliver.

a website

i guess it should be a website that i frequent. some of them may be NSFW (hehehe) but this is the website i go to when i need a laugh: CRACKED.com. the style of writing is incomparable.

a recipe

sambal tempeh, my fave! i'm gonna try to write this without reference! :D

tempeh, cut into small chunks

dried anchovies

chilli paste

shallots, sliced thinly

water

sugar

salt

1. fry the dried anchovies and tempeh (separately) until golden and crispy. take'em out of the wok.

2. sautee the shallots until fragrant and add the chilli paste. add sugar to the desired sweet-hot combo (i like it on the sweet side). add water until the desired amount of "kuah" is achieved.

3. put in the tempeh and dried anchovies and stir until everything is coated in hot and sweet yumminess!

4. serve warm with rice, preferably with nothing else :D

a hobby of mine

my hobby. i have some. but one that hasn't changed is my love of reading. i've started reading since i'm little. i have my parents to thank for instilling this good pastime into me :)

a talent of mine

a talent of mine. something i have since i was a wee tyke: drawing.

people ask me various versions of "macamana kau pandai melukis Naz?" and sincerely, i don't know. i guess it's a gift from God. i just remember seeing my mum draw ladies in dresses when i was little and many many memories of me drawing stuff. i have a planner which my aunt Helena keeps which is filled with my drawings; she keeps it in her office and whenever i was with her in Tawau i'd be drawing in it. my drawing precedes my age; i remember drawing things a three year old aren't supposed to draw (or should even know, for that matter). i have many drawings and have constantly had a problem with teachers for doodling in exercise books or any book with empty spaces in it. i've done murals, posters, pamphlets, designing dresses/outfits, even henna tattooing.

what i want now is for a chance to do graffiti :)

my future wedding

my future wedding. hurm. never thought of it. i mean i have thought about it, just that i think of the marriage more than the wedding itself. i'd be satisfied with a simple akad nikah in a masjid witnessed by my nearest and dearest but that would mean my parents would kill me and my late grandma would rise from her grave to strangle me. hahaha... we're one big clan and that usually means a big wedding is in order. well here's my kinda-instant mental image of my future wedding put in words.

a lot of grooms worry about being fat for their wedding but i guess i'd be fine, what with my tendency to be healthy (hehe). the first outfit should be, of course, the baju melayu. i want it to be royal purple, or even burgundy. i'd like to wear the tall songkok and put a brooch on it. i want to have a samping with a keris on it. my i'm of mixed parentage, but that doesn't mean i'd go for the full Maharaja China regalia to represent my chinese side. i'm particularly fond of the mandarin collar suit, and that shall be my dinner outfit. make it purple. i think two outfits should be fine, but i don't know about the women in my family - they'd want more out of me. hohohoho... oh yea, my fave color is orange but you may ask "why not wear orange?" well friends, orange is a bright color. i don't wanna become a traffic cone on my wedding day, do i? and i don't want "peach" or any other washed-out tones. orange should be accents, for example, maybe the dinner reception shall be accentuated with orange highlights? :)

the bride. hurm, the bride. i don't know if she'll be wearing the tudung for the reception (i'm okay both ways) but i want her in a dress or a kaftan-esque gown. lace is always in order for weddings so that should be fine. cream colored (yeah i am old fashioned about this) but other colors are nice too. it should match my deep purple mandarin coat, of course.

the dinner reception? the rest of the things? i don't know. i'll let the women of my family decide. this is their forte. they take care of the wedding, i'll take care of the bride.*wink*

like this but in purple, and NO prints whatsoever :)

an art piece

as you may or may not know, i am creative director of (soon to be rebranded) Kamireka Art, a creative project of mine with two other besties. we do designing projects like creating t shirts, shoes and also frames (the final two primarily carried out by my partner Ejat) and also take commision work designing pamphlets, t shirts and posters for events and organizations. an art piece that i include here would be one of my designs for shoes. this design has no takers, btw - anybody interested? ;)