Saturday, December 04, 2010

Brandy - Have You Ever

I forgot to say something to you - I'M SORRY.


Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep


my favorite movie

it's officially the second day :)

favorite movie... another category that has more than one candidate. my all time fave is the 1985 movie The Color Purple. i was crazy about Oprah at the time, and she often mentioned this book. so i have this longtime dream of being able to watch it. then BOOM! suddenly one fine day on RTM (yeah, it was back in the days), an ad showing the featured movies for the month, and one of it was The Color Purple! thank goodness it was a friday night movie. i didn't care how late it was (my childhood bedtime is quite early) when the time comes i promptly sat in front of the TV to watch it... i didn't manage to watch the final 15 minutes of the movie (childhood bedtime) which was the only bummer...

for the current favorite, it's Star Trek. the graphics, the story, the characters. i love it so much i once spent two days with no sleep just to read Memory Alpha, a dedicated page for Star Trek info. and still, i haven't finish reading about it yet. would LOVE to watch the series :)

Friday, December 03, 2010

my favorite song

the first challenge: my favorite song. my favorite song changes according to my mood and emotions, not necessarily according to what's hot now. right now i'm digging Whitney Houston's I Look To You. a spiritual song that reminds me that whatever happens in life, but specifically when things look bad and everything feels wrong, there will always be someone that is always always there for me... Him :)

As I lay me down,
Heaven hear me now.
I'm lost without a cause
After giving it my all.
Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun.
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to?

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.

About to lose my breathe,
There's no more fighting left,
Sinking to rise no more,
Searching for that open door.
And every road that I've taken
Lead to my regret.
And I don't know if I'm going to make it.
Nothing to do but lift my head

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.

My levees are broken
My walls have come
Tumbling down on me

The rain is falling.
Defeat is calling.
I need you to set me free.

Take me far away from the battle.
I need you.
Shine on me.

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.

..:: 30 day blog challenge ::..

ripped this off of miss Dylah's blog :D

Day 1 – your favorite song
Day 2 – your favorite movie
Day 3 – your favorite television program
Day 4 – your favorite book
Day 5 – your favorite quote
Day 6 – 20 of my favorite things
Day 7 – a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 – a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 – a photo you took
Day 10 – a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 – a photo of you recently
Day 12 – something you are OCD about
Day 13 – a fictional book
Day 14 – a non-fictional book
Day 15 – your dream house
Day 16 – a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 – an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 – my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 – a talent of yours
Day 20 – a hobby of yours
Day 21 – a recipe
Day 22 – a website
Day 23 – a youtube video
Day 24 – where I live
Day 25 – your day, in great detail
Day 26 – your week, in great detail
Day 27 – my worst habit
Day 28 – whats in my handbag/purse
Day 29 – hopes,dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 – a dream for the future

it's a fun challenge... fingers crossed! :D

p/s: it has been 3 days...

Thursday, December 02, 2010

of memories, moving on, civility and emotional support

it's true what they say: when you truly love someone, you are not mad at the them for breaking it off; you can only wish them the best. i truly loved you. hence i wasn't able to be mad at you. my close friends are all furious at you. but i told them to not hate you. you had your reasons. i can no longer make you happy. so you chose to find another to fulfill your desire to be happy.

there were relapses, but i'm trying my best to forget about you. it's kinda hard when i keep looking at things in my room that remind me of you. the domo-kun plush you gave to me as a birthday present. the bottle of perfume spray in your favorite scent is still here. the bus ticket i used to see you in KL. even things that i used in your presence brings back memories. a friend told me to throw away things that remind me of you but it's hard to do so. i won't throw them away. i'm a civil person and will not resort to such measures, it's wasting money and resources... what's more, they were tokens of the love that you gave me once upon a time.

it was as though the world was trying to help me recover today; my friends keep giving me advice and supporting words to help me feel better. the friend who is a cynic when it comes to relationships was surprisingly helpful and gave morale boost by offering to kill you (no i didn't let him do so. hehehe) even the classmates whom i least expect to be helpful gave a  boost to my self esteem. maybe it's just me, but even the lecturer was being helpful; his joke (i know he doesn't know about my situation) seem to be aimed at cheering me up. i managed to laugh a few genuine laughs. THANKS EVERYONE :)

while listening to my lappy's playlist, it shuffled to the songs that we used to sing together in the karaoke. i almost burst in tears. but i reined myself in :) by the way, thanks for the pictures (although i know you didn't give me the ones with you in it), i can download it already . i know you don't want to contact me anymore but please do reply the text that i sent you. it was the the thing that made us break up. i wish you won't do that to your next lover, if you don't have one already. have a nice life. i wish you the best. i'll be silent because you don't wanna hear from me anymore. i hope one day you will open your mind and we can make contact as friends.

i look forward to tomorrow for the sake of tomorrow - it doesn't have to have someone there waiting for me :)

i can finally say this to my self:
"don't be sad because it's over; be happy that it happened."

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

tears flow freely.
everything reminds me of you.
the things you said, the things we did,
the songs we sang together.
now i feel nothing but sorrow.
i don't know how to face the world tomorrow.
i wish i could just go home.
be with people i love and who loves me.

i will never be able to love someone like the way i loved you.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

you broke it off :'((

Every day I reflect upon myself, “Am I being considerate towards you today?”
Every time I think “Will this offend you? Am I being selfish?”
Every day I think about you and the consequences of my actions upon you.
Every night I hug Domo-kun tight, wishing it was you by my side.
 Every night I wish you were here to be with me.
I look forward every month to see you on our month-eversary.
Every day I can’t stop thinking about you.
Every night I think about you until I fall asleep.
I stop myself from doing things that might come off as
Cheating on you.

Yet when you are on holiday or you have a day off
You can’t even text without me texting you first.
You said that I’m emo because you don’t text
And I nag if you don’t reply my text.
Is it a sin to keep this long-distance relationship alive?
We are far enough as it is.
Technology provided us with simple communicating methods but
Even those are apparently too hard for you to do.

Every time I say I love you
You say you love me more.
I put three Kissfaces on YM but you put one
And said “even though I put one only but it means more than your three”
I put a number up on how much I love you
And you said your love is that number tripled.
You say that I am for you and you alone.

I came back to my room and saw Domo-kun
And tears welled up in my eyes.
I love you so much. So much. So much.
No word can describe my love for you.
I’m perfectly happy to be with you.
You were the light when I was in the dark.
I thought that you were the perfect one.
I have never felt like this with anyone.
Hence I opened up my heart fully to you.
Little did I know that you were the one with the
Sweet-tongued thief coming to
Coax my heart out of me.

I should’ve known from the way you act
You weren’t as responsive and weren’t as fun
When we met that time you’d rather finish up a blog post
That meant absolutely nothing to anyone
Rather than cuddling up with me.
When I text you and you don’t reply
I kept thoughts positive; and yet
There you are appearing online
As a green light on FB Chat or
Manifested as a fresh new blog post.
There were no more calls before you head home after work
Fewer texts from you
And when I asked about them you say that I’m nagging you.

I kept your texts
I reread them from time to time
I delight in those simple “Love you”
“Take care” and “Miss you”
I saved your blog posts that refer to me.
Every piece of you I wish to own
But now I guess they’re not mine anymore.  

Here I am analyzing every piece of my being
Where did I go wrong?
You wanted space, I gave you enough.
You don’t want to share your problems; I let you keep them to yourself.
You are busy with work so I leave you alone.
You want to sleep early so I let you do so.

Now I know why:
You wanted space so that you can be with another person.
You keep your problems to yourself to share it with the other person later.
You’re not busy with work but you were out having fun with the other person.
You didn’t sleep early but you wanted me to be off the hook
So you can whisper sweet nothings with the other person.
and i think i know who the other person is.

These words are not everything that I felt about this incident
There are more but I can’t piece them together.
I don’t know what tomorrow holds for me.
Nothing to look forward to seeing
No one to hear sweet nothings from
No one to say good morning to.

i know i'm killing myself by reading your blogposts.

but i just love you too much.

this was all too abrupt.

Aku cinta

Aku syg

Sama Kamoo sorang..

Jgn brani tinggalkan aku!!!!

[ ugut! ] MySpace


Luv u sunshine..

what's yours

 I m so happy today...gambaran kegembiraan yg sukar d'gambarkan oleh kata-kata, rasanya mahu share ngn semua

Finally aku bersama dia, thanks to si dia untuk jalinan ini..
sy syg sama kamoooo k..!!!! MySpace

Ia sgt membanggakan dan membahagiakan, sama2 kita jd yg terbaik demi perhubungan ini...

Masing2 mesti menerima kelebihan masing2...

Masing2 mesti menerima kekurangan masing2...

Andai ku gembira kau ada, kau begitu jua...

Andai ku bersedih kau ada, kau begitu jua...

Sharing is caring...

Kita saling melengkapi...

*Psst!!; saat ini , saat chance
Lama aku xrasa happy mcm nih..

Gurau2x ngn dia td..


Dia tertipu jab..

Suka tgk reaksi dia...


Jgn marah ekk...nnti kena jual...

the red house

this was from you. i kept this blogpost.

Pada suatu hari aku jalan-jalan , jln-jln dan terjumpa 1 rumah, rumah itu cantik, comel, secomel penghuninya, ada suka duka di rumah itu, warna merah cat nya.Agak besar gak umahnya.

Di luar tampak ceria umah merahnya itu,comel upanyer penghuninya tp wajahnya agak keruh spt sdg bersedih, sedih mengharungi hari kot. Lama aku memerhati dan aku seperti memahami kesedihan si penghuninya, walau wajahnya keruh tapi ku memberanikan diri mencuba juga untuk menegurnya.

Dia tidak kenal aku,orang yang suka berjalan-jalan, melihat rumah2 orang dan suka menegur orang-orang yang aku rasa sama denganku. Ku mencuba membuka perbualan dengannya, saja ku menegur agar dia tidak berasa sedih.

Dari perteguran yang tidak seberapa, dia menjawab segembira mungkin, mungkin tidak mahu aku membaca kisahnya dan keganjilan. Aku menghulur tangan untuk berkenalan, nasib baik si penghuni umah merah ini baik owgnya, dia seikhlas mungkin berbual dan berjabat tangan dengan pelancong asing seperti aku.

Aku mencuba bawa dia keluar dari umah merah dia sekejab, mungkin umah merah itu tempat kesayangannya, tapi aku xmahu dia sunyi di situ dan mungkin juga dia sedih di situ. Aku bawa dia keluar melihat matahari yg terang, merasa deruan angin dan merasa tenang dengan bunyian air mengalir mahupun membiarkan dia seronok mendengar kicauan burung.

Kami bersama berbual di bawah sepohon pokok yang comel dan sesekali juga di taman binaan kami supaya dia mahupun aku boleh berbaik dan menjadi sahabat yang sempurna supaya dia xrasa aku nih pelancong asing yg jauh.

Kekeruhan wajahnya sedikit terubat, aku sudah mula nampak senyuman comelnya itu, wah bangga sekejab dengan usaha tak seberapa aku. Dia mula percaya pelancong asing seperti aku ini, yang baru dikenalinya dalam masa yang singkat. Dia mula berkongsi berita kekeruhan dirinya di rumah merahnya itu.

Aku mencuba sehabis baik menjadi pendengar yang setia dan sesekali memberi nasihat. Kadang-kadang nasihat berupa epal, ciuman, senyuman dan teringin gak nak bg bunga kat dia. Nk bagi bunga? ha..ha...tak berani sebenarnya...aku takut dia xambil bunga aku, lg takut dia xsuka dan campak bunga berwarna comel dariku itu.Wait? napa nak bg bunga tiba2 lak...ko kan baru kenal dia wahai diri? Itu aku tahu...tapi aku rasa ada sst yg menarik minat aku kpd si penghuni umah merah ini, so spt rasa nk bg bunga kat dia plak...

Xpela if dia tak terima pn xpe, asal dia tersenyum itupun sudah cukup, dapat berbual di bawah pohon comel dan taman buatan kami ini sebenarnya sudah cukup dan bermakna. Senyuman dia itu telah menampakkan kejujurannya, kemurnian dan keikhlasan hatinya.

Bila dia balik ke rumah merah dia dan aman di dalamnya, aku seringkali kembali ke sana memerhatikannya, melihat dari jendela2 comelnya, takut2 dia melihat ke luar, dengan ini aku boleh melihat wajah comelnya.

Entah mengapa, aku rasa dia istimewa...entah mengapa aku rasa ada sst yg berharga yg ada padanya yg mana aku mahu kongsi bersamanya...itu pun jika aku mampu.

Namun itu semua cuma pengharapan...dan aku xkisah...yang aku kisah sekarang adalah...senyuman mu wahai penghuni umah merah...kau kena senyum k...aku suka dan rindu pada senyuman mu itu...kadang2 ku termimpi akan senyuman mu itu...

: )