Tuesday, November 30, 2010

you broke it off :'(

Every day I reflect upon myself, “Am I being considerate towards you today?”
Every time I think “Will this offend you? Am I being selfish?”
Every day I think about you and the consequences of my actions upon you.
Every night I hug Domo-kun tight, wishing it was you by my side.
 Every night I wish you were here to be with me.
I look forward every month to see you on our month-eversary.
Every day I can’t stop thinking about you.
Every night I think about you until I fall asleep.
I stop myself from doing things that might come off as
Cheating on you.

Yet when you are on holiday or you have a day off
You can’t even text without me texting you first.
You said that I’m emo because you don’t text
And I nag if you don’t reply my text.
Is it a sin to keep this long-distance relationship alive?
We are far enough as it is.
Technology provided us with simple communicating methods but
Even those are apparently too hard for you to do.

Every time I say I love you
You say you love me more.
I put three Kissfaces on YM but you put one
And said “even though I put one only but it means more than your three”
I put a number up on how much I love you
And you said your love is that number tripled.
You say that I am for you and you alone.

I came back to my room and saw Domo-kun
And tears welled up in my eyes.
I love you so much. So much. So much.
No word can describe my love for you.
I’m perfectly happy to be with you.
You were the light when I was in the dark.
I thought that you were the perfect one.
I have never felt like this with anyone.
Hence I opened up my heart fully to you.
Little did I know that you were the one with the
Sweet-tongued thief coming to
Coax my heart out of me.

I should’ve known from the way you act
You weren’t as responsive and weren’t as fun
When we met that time you’d rather finish up a blog post
That meant absolutely nothing to anyone
Rather than cuddling up with me.
When I text you and you don’t reply
I kept thoughts positive; and yet
There you are appearing online
As a green light on FB Chat or
Manifested as a fresh new blog post.
There were no more calls before you head home after work
Fewer texts from you
And when I asked about them you say that I’m nagging you.

I kept your texts
I reread them from time to time
I delight in those simple “Love you”
“Take care” and “Miss you”
I saved your blog posts that refer to me.
Every piece of you I wish to own
But now I guess they’re not mine anymore.  

Here I am analyzing every piece of my being
Where did I go wrong?
You wanted space, I gave you enough.
You don’t want to share your problems; I let you keep them to yourself.
You are busy with work so I leave you alone.
You want to sleep early so I let you do so.

Now I know why:
You wanted space so that you can be with another person.
You keep your problems to yourself to share it with the other person later.
You’re not busy with work but you were out having fun with the other person.
You didn’t sleep early but you wanted me to be off the hook
So you can whisper sweet nothings with the other person.
and i think i know who the other person is.

These words are not everything that I felt about this incident
There are more but I can’t piece them together.
I don’t know what tomorrow holds for me.
Nothing to look forward to seeing
No one to hear sweet nothings from
No one to say good morning to.



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