26/27/11/10

alhamdulillah everything's fine. no more fights. once again i grow mature from the problems that crop up.

you're so darn busy nowadays. but that's fine.

i'll be here for you...

nite2~

Avenged Sevenfold - Dear God

for you - i miss you so much... ;)


A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again...

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
and all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around
when I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again...



I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU ;)

express updates

minimal camwhoring produced the new profile pic for blogger! :D will have a more active shoot later.


preparing the mind and body for the onslaught that is the SURVEY CAMP. another season of reality TV is in order. tears, anger, drama. who syas TV is not a representation of real life?


will tidy the room a bit. i hope i don't have EXCESS baggage  for home and for my own sake. btw, the college is a bloodsucker. so damn expensive to rent out the room for the holidays. i can only say curses in my heart.


can't wait for someone to vacate the bed. i wanna sleep too! you get priority coz you have an exam later... nvm me. hehehe good luck my socialites :)


crazily in loooove with Twitter! but that doesn't mean it'll replace YOU in the pedestal of my heart... thank goodness everything's back to normal, btw... i apologize on my part, coz we both have acknowledged the faults in ourselves :) i love you so so so much, ignoring you was a nightmare... unintentionally i have added to your worries, i wish i could hug you... to alleviate some if not all of the pains in your heart, especially those that come from me...


haven't been in touch with a certain group of friends. they're busy anyway. but they were on Twitter and FB too, how funny is that? i might as well keep quiet to avoid aching hearts and hurtful but unintentional words spurred by ire. nevertheless, good luck for your finals...

to my sweetie: miss you miss you miss you miss you miss you miss you miss you miss you!!!!!!!!

24 november 2010

okay! my exams are finished!! a recap of the papers:


Data Comm: just fine, the lecturer gave us tips and we adhered to it. turns out fine, i managed to answer everything...


Spatial Analysis: just fine. facts down pat.


System Analysis and Design: ditto.


GISDB: OMG this is the paper where i don't know what i wrote. i was on high and was really wasted. i dunno why. perhaps because my emotions were basically screwed up...


and you're not returning my texts again. but i know i deserved it. hence i won't bother you right now. but i'll be waiting...

Thanks Mimi.

http://akueadalahakue.blogspot.com/2010/11/tolong-ingatkan-aku.html

rebuttal

- you're not replying. and that seems to be my fault too.
- i do not make you follow my beat. you didn't set one. when i ask you to, you don't know or decline to make one.
- i do NOT only care about myself!!! if i had only cared for myself i wouldn't even bother to talk to you or fight with you!
- i don't make you share everything. i learnt that last time and i adhered to it. so i leave you to your stuff.
- you say i don't understand you? OF COURSE! because you don't talk about anything! my efforts to get to know you better is repaid with me being nosy! me being inconsiderate! or simply, ME = WRONG and ME = BAD!!
- when we are gonna talk, you avoid it. or you fell asleep. or you got busy. OR we are in the middle of texting about stuff and you go silent. and when i want to pick up where we left off, you seem to forget or worse, IGNORE IT. once again, my efforts make me look like the bad guy. at least leave a note or a last message saying you got something and had to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- things are not always good and nice. there will always be bumps along the way. I KNOW THAT. therefore, we need to communicate. but that's what you're avoiding. communication is important especially for a long distance relationship like this. it seems like when i'm trying to make an effort, i look like the clingy needy bad guy.

i don't even know if i am sad or angry about this matter. me bad guy me bad guy me bad guy. IT'S ALL MY FAULT. FINE! :'(

ok i get it.

perhaps i'm being selfish.


perhaps i'm being needy.


perhaps i'm being clingy.


did i do anything wrong? 


any at all?


you want to keep your problems to yourself,  that's okay.


but if you have a problem with me, PLEASE TELL ME.


what did i do to deserve this silence?


fine, i'll shut up.




sincerely,

sweetie can you hear me?

*****

why are you so silent today and a part of yesterday... i know you are troubled but you think it isn't something substantial to talk about... plus you said you want to forget about it. but i feel left out... i want to share your troubles...

whatever it is, know that i love you, and know that i am here for you baby ;)

*****

..:: loneliness ::..

trying my hand at haiku. but having difficulty shortening sentences into the 5-7-5 syllable norm. i though being good at twitter would help. it does, though not much :)

i miss having you around... having someone to talk to, someone to listen to, someone to look forward to, someone to see first thing in the morning... i tried refraining from writing it here but i can't help it - I MISS YOU.

back to loneliness...