Thursday, December 31, 2009

UGH!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT A BUMMER TO USHER IN THE NEW YEAR LIKE THIS. ASSIGNMENTS. PRESENTATIONS. AND A QUIZ LATER TODAY! WHAT THE EFF...WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO LEAVE OFF NEW YEAR'S DAY AS A PUBLIC HOLIDAY??? THE REST OF THE WORLD'S HAVING A BLAST STARTING TONIGHT AND WE ARE STUCK DOING SHIT.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Wednesday Post

Today started out as usual...woke up at 6.59am after much procrastination with the Snooze button. Went to English class. We brainstormed for the English project. And it was th first time I speaked to the lecturer, Mdm Haliza. She's lovely as all English teachers are, but with an edge. I'd dare call her bitch, but in a good sense. A bitch is a confident girl who is capable of holding her ground in this male-dominated world. And she is one. Hu3~ So I proposed our idea to her...and she really shot at us for it - it wasn't that she rejected ours, but it's just that she sternly reminded us of what we have to do for the topic - something that SURELY means that she is cautiously watching our steps. Well, we're gonna do our best on this - we've got the best team around - chemistry is good too.

Then went back to dorm by bus. It's been a while. Bumped into C on the bus. I know, I know, I'm supposed to erase all experiences with C forever and ever. And I didn't acknowledged C's presence; just a glance and I sat into my seat. I'm LOVING my W Series MP3 Player by Sony! I can turn, twist, do the moonwalk, backflip and it will not hinder my movement - plus I get double takes for it! :D

Around 2pm I went to settle my electrical appliances fee, but they said the receipts have been sent to the UTM Treasury. So it's tomorrow then. I decided to go see Mr Rahim. He said that It will be relocated to an upper floor in MA6 or MA7. Anywhere you want to put him, Mr Rahim, with ALL DUE RESPECT do put him anywhere you want but in this room - I have had enough. Allah is Most Compassionate and Merciful, He has answered my prayers...;) So now it's a matter of enduring It for a few more days...If he moves this New Year, even before, it'd be a GREAT start of a New Year...:D

I want to thank all my friends who have heard this story from me and sympathized with it...Love you guys and gals...Thanks for all the support and all the love and understanding...only He can repay your kindness...;)

Monday, December 28, 2009

Wow. It's been a while.

Just returned from KL...went Christmas shopping... but the sad thing is, the night before a disaster happened. Probably bad mojo from the monobrowed monster. I was there on my desk surfing the Net when I got peckish. so I made myself a glass of milk. As I was struggling with the tin of Lo-Salt Hi Fibre biscuits, I bumped into the glass but I ignored it. But as I peeled my eyes off the tin, all i saw was a milky flood on my keyboard! With a string of colorful expletives, I hurriedly disconnected the charger and my broadband. Then the screen flickered, and it restarted. Without having second thoughts I disconnected the battery and hard disk too, remembering something from the laptop manual. Hugging my laptop like a mum holds her long lost child, I cooed and coaxed my laptop from its coma...I practically cried that night. The laptop is my life - study, homework, social life, my connection to the world, practically. Then I resigned to letting it dry. Not a moment goes by in KL that I don't worry for my laptop. I didn't even tell my mum - I didn't dare, unless I was in the mood for a bleeding ear. Then I returned to JB Monday midnight, and with high hopes that it will snap out of its coma...ALHAMDULILLAH, it's back on! :D

KL was fun, but it would be more fun if the laptop incident didn't happen.

Saturday - Started journey 11.30am. Went to Putra station heading for KL Sentral. Walk the short distance to Monorail for Times Square. Texted Dylah coz I forgot which station to stop on (thanks Dylah!) then arrived. My fave jeans shop wasn't open....but I bought a sweater, and got the jeans from another place. Then walked over to Sg Wang. No good either - not much to see...nothing caught my eye in these two locations. And it was SEARING HOT. Even in the short walk from TS to Sg Wang I loathed.

Afterwards, came out of Sg Wang to head for the Monorail station back to KL Sentral. Walked the short (and HOT) distance outside to BB station. Kept my cool, kept my wayfarers on, witht eh optimism that in case something stupid happens, I'd not be there in the nearest future. Ha3... went back to KL Sentral, and thought of whether to go to KLCC or Mid Valley. The second destination was the choice. It is here that I shopped - Vincci watch, new high tops, black jeans, some other stuff...couldn't find the right vest. And Topman wasn't adequately stocked. Many things were sold out.

After Mid Valley, there was plenty of time left, so I decided to wrap things up with KLCC and Pavilion. I witnessed the 8pm snowfall. Marvelous. I was feeling the moment, a la Korean series...thank goodness I have the face to pull it off :P then went home, exhausted...seriously. I slept like a baby that night. Ha3~

Sunday - Went to 1 Utama coz Aunty had to go to church. Met up with Kak Anie. Shopped and laughed and basically had TONNES of fun. It's been a while since I've laughed that hard. Love the moment - she sent me to Pudu, so before that we took my stuff from the house and went over to Pasar Seni, my dream destinantion. Finally I got to go. I saved the intention to go to Pasar Seni since I was 1 years old, imagine that.

Only just now C replied to my message. I realized how stupid I was. I was holding onto a frayed rope, with high hopes of being rescued. But now I know better. I deserved it. So what. I still am human capable of mistakes. YOU don't have the right to step on my face. I shall sever all ties with C. It'll be like I never knew C. There shall be no goodbye too.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

~Last Week~

One week has passed...nothing significant, but there were highlights...

Arrived on a Sunday evening. Went shopping first - to stock up on essentials that have been depleted before the hols. Then went back. I thought things would turn out just fine...but as I walked through the door...THE.BITCH.IS.STILL.HERE!!!!!!!! Even if I don't hate him/her, I still need to leave the room anytime with a sense of security, with assurance that my stuff is safe from Bai Ling/Winona Ryder.

Got fever+sore muscles+sore throat from Sunday to Wednesday. Had to go to the clinic to avoid aggravation. Thanks Yus for bringing me there. I guess it's from extensive travelling, extensive behavior-controlling in KK (being a good boy is hard work), new surroundings, and also High Blood Pressure from having to put up with a BITCH in my room.

Classes were normal; totally new lecturers. Met two: they were hard-hitters. One swipe and you're cursed for life. But it's all for our own good...Oh BTW, no more Ko-Q this sem. YAY! But Boo for Training Camp at the end of the semester. Total Beech~~~~

Friday: Awal Muharam. Holiday=Long Holiday. Regret a little for not going to KL. Money is in. Did more shopping. Broadband bought. Very happy. Only started using today. :D Next u: Tebrau City. SHOPPING!

Went out with Dylah Friday afternoon. Gorged on Japanese fare and shopped at Jusco. Bought necessities and not-so-necessities. Planning on a cheap phone to replace the old one; and W series MP3 Player for my evening runs...;)

It's good to know that I'm not swayed by this windfall of cash: I still thing four times before buying stuff, opting for cheaper alternatives and generic brands, thinking need before want...but some things are meant to be WANTED. and these little splurges shall be ALLOWED.

Sunday evening, dinner with an old pal. He asked me to accompany him clubbing this Tuesday. I haven't been to clubs before; how thw experience will be, I have no idea. I just hope that I'll be able to be there for Wednesday's class... :P

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I'm Sorry.

I've just read C's blog just now, and it really hits me how much I've lost. A true love. A true friend. A chance at a true relationship. But because of my gluttony and stupidity, I've lost C. And I've let C down too. I'm sorry. So so sorry. I hope that even if C's heart is closed to a reconciliation, at least C would still want to answer my calls, or text me, or get in touch with me in any way.

Know that not a day goes by without me thinking about how stupid I was to fall into the trap.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Todd took her hands into his, softly caressing her pale skin. The professional building restorer noted the difference in their appearance: her ivory hands in contrast to his rough, leathery mitts tanned by days of working under the sun. He delighted in smelling the soft perfume of the lotion she adored, wafting up to him. Her gray eyes were accentuated by her flaxen hair, tumbling softly past her shoulders.

“I shall love you through thick and thin, young and old; and only when the angels come to take me away shall this love for you end.”

Alexis smiled. Todd delighted in seeing that as well. Alexis returned his hold with a squeeze that affirmed her love for him too. The rain had stopped; it was as if the sky was also pining for their love to last forever. The sun peeked through the gray clouds, casting beams of hopeful rays through the café window. Alexis’ gray eyes were further beautified by the gentle rays.

Every Sunday Todd brought Alexis to his favorite spot to unwind after a long day. It was a café that was in an old part of town; the design of the buildings dated from the 70’s. Orange was the main color of the color scheme, with plastic modular furniture and geometric prints on the feature wall, striped with block colors. Todd enjoyed the smell of freshly brewed coffee, the scent of buttery pancakes and also the old-school music that still played through the classic jukebox. Alexis came into his life precisely three weeks ago; they had met at a gallery opening; Todd was there as a special guest of the gallery owner, and Alexis was the daughter of an entrepreneur who came in her father’s place. They were standing in front of a mixed-media artwork, Todd absently speaking to the person beside him, who happens to be Alexis. Alexis was taken by his blunt yet in-depth observation of the artwork; Alexis was friends with the artist; she was impressed at how accurately Todd described the artist’s persona even without him knowing the artist. They struck up a conversation, which continued to the very café they were in right now.

“I love you too, Todd.” Alexis said. Alexis looked into Todd. The loving look she gave Todd seconded what she has said.

Todd released his hold on her hand and drank the last of his coffee. She ate the final crumb of pancake, primly placed the knife and fork side by side on the plate. Todd got the bill and then together they left for his apartment. They walked hand in hand, as if they were the only persons in the world, oblivious to the outside world.

***

Todd finished his work early the next day. He messaged Alexis, saying that he’d go home early. Usually Alexis would reply, but this time she didn’t. Todd dismissed this, saying that maybe she was a tad busy. Upon reaching home, he checked his Facebook, first looking through his homepage then going to Alexis’ profile page. Todd saw that she had changed her relationship status from “single” to “in a relationship”. They both didn’t like the idea of publicizing their relationship, at least not on Facebook. Besides, if Alexis wanted to do this, she should have talked about it with him first. Saying to himself that maybe this was a surprise, he messaged Alexis to ask her about this. Alexis replied.

“Oh Todd honey, it ws nothng…my frnd ws newly in a rlationship, so she dared me 2 chnge my rlationship status instd of chnging hers.”

What a peculiar request.

***

Todd ruffled his chestnut hair again. He tossed and turned on the unmade bed. He hadn’t gone to work for three days. Messages that blinked on his answering machine were either from the company, asking about his whereabouts, or from Jeff, his best friend. His handphone’s inbox was full of messages from everybody, and so was his missed calls’ list. But no messages or calls were from the person he wanted to hear from.
Feeling peckish, Todd got up from bed and proceeded to the kitchen. He opened the cabinet to get some instant noodles out of their packet. Placing the noodles in a bowl, he poured the seasoning into the bowl, not noticing that some of it fell onto the countertop. He hadn’t change in the three days; the white singlet that he wore from three days ago had started to smell musty; sweat stains are starting to show. He hadn’t shaved, so now he looked unkempt and disheveled. His hair was tousled and grimy from no wash. He wore his running shorts with the dirty singlet. He held the bowl up to the nozzle of the hot water dispenser. The hot water came out abruptly, splashing onto the bare skin of his hand. He cursed loudly, the bowl tumbled out of his grip, and it crashed onto the kitchen floor. Todd slumped towards the counter, propping himself on his hands. He no longer felt the pain of the scalding water. His eyes looked into nowhere, mind wandering towards Alexis’ sudden absence.
Todd thought hard of what went wrong, and where; he had not done anything that had betrayed Alexis’ trust. He didn’t cheat on her, instead was practically the epitome of sweetness to her. They had gone out to dinner two weeks ago; last week he went to work on restoring an old building dating from colonial times in another town. The first three days they kept in touch with calls and messages. But starting from the fourth day Todd received neither. None of his messages or calls were replied either. When he came back in town, Alexis was nowhere to be found. She wasn’t at her house, no matter at what time he went. He reduced the frequency of his visits, so as to not look like a stalker. Alexis was simply put, missing. Up till today Alexis was unreachable.
Todd sighed. He squatted to clean up the mess on the floor. Suddenly his handphone rang. It was Alexis’ personalized ringtone. He dropped all that he held and rushed to the bedroom. He grabbed his phone. It was a message from Alexis.

“I’m sory, Todd. Let’s just b frnds agn. I’m really sory…”

Friday, November 27, 2009

Reminiscence~


Guess which 1's me. Ha3~ this picture was taken back in '97, I guess. Hu3

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Raya Aidiladha tiba lagi...


Ramainya org kt kdai2,xkira supmket atau kdai rncit...brasap dapur lbh dr biasa,kreta2 mmnuhi carwash,utk mgmbalikn new car smell n shine...tiba msany utk bgun smayg raya,myumbat mlut dgn juadh raya,n memasg megawatt smile kpd sume tuan uma yg dkunjungi...shud it b j0y0us or dpressing,i w0nder.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Borneo Paradise 21st Nov 09


Went to Borneo Paradise. Had tremendous fun. Got a tan. Now my skin burns and peels. But I had a blast! :-D

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Why?

I don't know what you are doing to me. Left messages on the Friendster bulletin, left your phone number, even. But when I tried contacting you, you don't reply. Trying to make me desperate, huh? Fine. Go your way.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Hey Sunday!


Family outing...Breakfast at Mile 6 Kg. Cocos,then off to Pasar Tani...this is so FETCH! :-D

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Ughhh...


One week has gone. Part of me wants to leave, but another part fears of doing so. Dear lord, help me through these uncertain times...

Rainy Day...


It's raining...I'm Wifi-ing with mum,dad,and Arin.He's goin to Karate class later.I'm trying out this mobile blogging thing.

Happy Birthday Wawak! :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAWAK!!!! :D

12th November 09 - Wawak Nery had her belated birthday party. She decided to celebrate it with her family, so she came on the 11th to set up the party, along with us.

It wasn't technically a party, just a small get-together with her nearest and dearest. But as with Cocos traditions, "nearest and dearest" and a "small get-together" does not translate into a boring silent dinner. We are only 14 people, but we can sound like 40. Hehehe~

So the dinner started at around 6.30pm...Nek Aji wasn't here coz he went to Sandakan to see off a relative who will be performing the Haji and will be flying this Saturday. Before the dinner, we had a little fun taking pics, and doing the final preparations. It felt like traditional breaking the last fast before Raya (which I do every year, insyaAllah), with the family gathering around the living room. So we started off the dinner with a prayer, and then Wawak proceeded to blow out the candle on her cake. We all ate the spread; I kept my gluttony in check, reminding me to eat slow and steady, and graze, not devour. It worked. I ate comparatively little, but felt full. Whenever a pang strikes, I remind to ask myself whether it's a hunger pang or just thirsty. I drank water, anyway.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Reminiscence~


Took this pic while waiting for my dad to buy spirits for his fishing trip. Although not the cleanest,looking towards Lahad Datu's horizon always brings a sense of peace to my mind...

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Rediscovery~

Oh gosh...I've convinced myself that the roll around my belly is extra skin left from my weight loss, but day by day, it is becoming what I fear it to be...the fat is back. But now I have no access to the free world to run as I please, so it's workout and Yoga for me - I figured if I am going to gain weight, it better be lean muscle, NOT fat.

By utilizing what I've learnt at PLKN and also from workouts in Men's Health, I'm already on my way to better health - strenuous PLKN-style exercises and workouts with no equipment - the quintessential way of workouts on a budget :D

Rediscovering Yoga was very, very nice: just the very act of taking out my trusy (albeit dusty) yoga mat was a ritual of peace and a sign that I'll be leaving the real world to enter Shang Ri-La. I'm limbering up...feeling calm and collected...going into my own world. Granted I was not as limber as I was before (I left Yoga for University life - Uni is not as open-minded as it states it is - such BS), but it's okay. Baby steps, Nazmi... :) Plus it's gonna do wonders for my running coz I have tight calves...I need to stretch my fascia...Hu3 I don't care what they say about Yoga. They haven't done it before so they have NO FIRSTHAND EXPERIENCE whatsoever. I have been doing yoga since form three, and no BS from the Govt is gonna hold me back. So shut up and deal with your monkey attitudes in the Parliament Hall, and PLEASE, discuss more important subjects that actually will bring improvement and harmony to Malaysia. Being 1Malaysia doesn't mean we are single-minded. Oh, amateurs pay attention: Yoga does not mean just sitting cross-legged and putting on a finger gesture. Show me that BS and you'll know which finger gesture I give you. :P

Oh, and the workouts will not work if I don't watch what I eat...so the vegetarian diet is also re-lived. Maybe consuming meat was the cause of my skin problems, because while I was surfing through old photos of me during my weight loss days (which I practised vegetarianism) I noticed that my skin condition was better. Thus, I shall re-live vegetarianism and see if it'd improve my skin's conditions~

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Pesawat - Mirage

Cahaya terang menembusi
Bagai sebuah kisah misteri
Kau mungkin..asing
Kau mungkin..pernah ku kenal sebelum ini

Resah gelisah dibuatnya
Bagai sebuah cereka cinta
Haru..Biru
Kelam..Jiwaku..semakin kacau

Siang malam termimpi mimpi
Pagi petang tercari cari
Tiap saat…ternanti nanti
Kau masih…tiada disisi

Adakah ini satu mimpi
Terasa bagai sebuah ilusi
Delusi..mata..
Mainan..jiwaku yang semakin kacau

Siang malam termimpi mimpi
Pagi petang tercari cari
Tiap saat…ternanti nanti
Kau masih…tiada disisi

Haru..Biru..
Kelam..jiwaku semakin kacau

Miss You

I've already forgiven you. Actually, it was not even your fault. It was mine. I was caught in the heat of the moment. I can't sleep last night thinking of you...

- I miss the goofy way you nod.
- I miss hugging you.
- I miss your canine-ey smile.
- I miss your laugh.
- I miss staying up all night watching movies with you.
- I miss cuddling up with you.
- I miss having YOU.

I'm rambling. I know.

HOME AT LAST~

I'm finally home...TV, Hometown and more importantly, FAMILY and FRIENDS. Okay, the friends haven't came back yet, they have just started their exams. I'm wondering if we were the earliest faculty to finish exams. Hu3~

Tthe TV remote is in my hands now...so good to have a grip on reality now. By reality I'm referring to MTV and Channel [V]! New vids, new songs...I'm also catching up on vids of not-so-new songs. Like Miley Cyrus' Party In The USA...I'm so jealous of her toned thighs!!!! OMG, That gives me another motivation to workout during this holidays...

I don't know when I'm gonna post this blog, so I'll date it with the 2nd day of my arrival back here: 9th November 09. Will miss Uni, but only a little bit: there's only so much to miss about a uni with dismal WIFI coverage, but I'll certainly miss the evening runs and of course the fresh, young, energetic, fertile, and virile youth of UTM...He3~

I'm home...but my friends aren't. So it's kinda boring. Hahaha~ Friends, I wish you all the best in your exams, and please come back ASAP okay~~~~~


SEE YOU IN ONE MONTH! :D

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Today In History (LOL)

OMG. ONE MORE PAPER TO GO.

Photogrammetry Paper: Very Suitable Candidate for Fertilizer Material.

Went back to my room to find the LARGEST dead spider by my doorstep. GROSS!!!!!

Settles the holiday storage business with the Hostel Management.

95% finished packing. Wearing practically rags. Wash and re-wear clothes.Hehehe~

CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME.

Feeling feverish.

PROGRAMMING PAPER TOMORROW? FUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Freedom Awaits...~

I have TWO more papers - Photogrammetry and Programming.

TWO painful, excruciating, debilitating papers.

Yet Sweet Freedom Awaits -

Mum, Dad, Brother, Sister. EVERYBODY in the clan.

Sabahan Food - Bakso, Gramps' Cooking, Mum's Pau and Breads.

Crazy weekends with the siblings.

Hanging with my BFFs.

My beloved Yoga Mat.

Shopping at thrift stores, vintage shops and bundles.

-THE SABAHAN MALAY LANGUAGE-

Sabah, here I come...

Sabah Tanahairku...Negeri Kita Yang Tercintaaaaaaa~

:D



Close To You - The Carpenters

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Just like me (Just like me)
They long to be
Close to you.

I Miss You

Suddenly I remembered my abang angkat. My late abang angkat. He was the sweetest person I have ever met. The older brother I never had. Tragically involved in an accident, which he did not cause. And yet now it seems like he was reincarnated in flesh, in the form of one of my coursemates. I still cannot fathom the reality that a doppleganger of my abang angkat is present in my class, and will possibly be with me for another five semesters. Did You put his body back into this world to accompany me? You surely work in mysterious ways...

Al-Fatihah, abang.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

The Dream

The sweetest dream - a dream of me and my adopted older brother. In the dream I am just sitting around when he comes around on a bicycle. So he asked me if I'd go on a ride with him. I accepted and off we go~

Then the ride was a loooong one - we went round the village thrice (I think). I remembered seeing a school with a field with people playing football. All players wore red jerseys with V-neck collars. The school was on a hillside cliff, with the cliff overlooking a vast paddy field. the vista was awesome - the paddy was just about to turn yellow, so the green that it is was kinda emerald-looking.

I also remembered some bike-riding hooligans joking around on their bikes, disturbing other bikers. They also disturbed an old loony guy (I think they pulled at his hole-ridden shorts) which we then saved by pushing them off their bike (My brother rode while i shoved them). Well, it serves them right for disturbing the old loony guy. Then the loony guy started to follow us but we lost him eventually.

Came to a traffic light. We stopped briefly, then after this, we were headed for a roller coaster ride (no kidding). Before proceeding with the green light, I remember ducking away from six low hanging warning signs. Red and orange-colored, mostly. Seriously it was a roller coaster ride - we were swerving and moving so fast and vicariously...I prayed for our safety the whole time, yet I was prepared for a swift death. The brake didn't seem to work but he said he was stepping on them (actually on bikes we grip on them). Then the crazy road ended, and we went by a Malay cemetery where Gamelan music was playing. My adopted brother told me a story of two families whose children almost put off their wedding ceremony because of differing language - one of the families swore that they were speaking the same tongue as the other, but they were not understood.

And there's a minor part where I'm rooming with Hairi my coursemate. Very weird.

I don't know what the moral of this dream is, but it was fun hanging out with my adopted brother, in real and dream life. He is the older brother I never had. He is the living proof that a person doesn't need years and years of formal education because he has so much wisdom to impart without going through university. He is 14 years older than me. It's not a creepy relationship. I have always found myself sitting around with older people, chitchatting. At a dinner, while all the kids went to play silly games, I'd sit with their grandmas and grandpas talking and listening to their stories; I found that I'd click with them rather quickly. Maybe this is what being old-souled truly is. :D

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Of Socio Exam, Cleaning Out My Closet and Klepto Bitches

I've just finished the Sociology paper today, and I got facts down pat, but when I reread the answer sheet, it looks gibberish. Plus the hall's cold, so I didn't have the best handwriting for the day. Just Redha and Tawakkal, it's done...

I had a run today, but it was boring: no crowd, and the weather's cold so I almost cramped up my left calf; it always does if I run in the cold. That's why I decline the night run they did during the fasting month. I'd die cramped up. LOL~ I jst ran K11-KTHO-KDSE-and went up through KTR back home through L50... After showering, I had nothing to do; my head's a bit saturated, so I figured I'd better clear it out. So I cleared out my locker. Threw out old stuff, rediscovered lost stuff, reminisced on some. I chanced across the Secretariat stuff I stored from last year...(cue flashback ripple LOL)


Before


After... :D

Back in the days when I was practically an outcast, knowing nobody outside my class other than a few friends. Now I know more people through being a JKM Secretariat, and have been through some activities both as participant and organiser: joined Scrabble in English Week (finished fourth; sorry Mum!), became the Food AJK AND emcee for PROKID Lambaian U (the best Program; pleasantly deceptive kids), became photographer for both FESCO and 4R:Riang Ria Riuh Raya (got my hands on a DSLR, borrowed from Dr Sulaiman), as well as the multimedia AJK AND Mural Artist for FESCO. OH GOSH~ Not to forget being an emcee for Malam SeBlast dinner...the best uni-wide exposure, ever. Hehehe...Going through these activities was enriching - know more people, get more exposure, and get my talents out there. I really appreciate knowing all the friends that I've obtained from these activities. THANKS GUYS AND GALS~



~The collection of Activities Memorabilia~

Now I don't know what to do about my collection of Men's Health. And the other magazines. Not to mention my bags - now I know why girls are addicted to bags and shoes. LOL. I'm finding a way to auction/sell off them (maybe) to earn extra cash. But I'm saving one for my little brother...

Oh BTW, the klepto strikes back. I came back from my faculty this morning, and just as I was about to reach for my charger, I found it gone. I WAS NOT IN THE MOOD for this, so I just faced him/her to reclaim my charger. True enough, it was with him/her. It must be that he/she thought that I will not return to my room last night. If that's the case, then that would mean there were other nights when I'd not return to my room that he'd do the same thing. EFF!!!!!!!!!!!!
You've taken my sewing kit and my perfume, and that's fine. I've let that go. But don't you dare say that I took the perfume spray that belonged to C*T. IT'S SNUGLY SITUATED IN YOUR LOCKER. AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE AND THICK FACE TO USE IT EVERY SINGLE DAY WITHOUT SHAME.

I AM NOT IN YOU LIFE, AND YOU ARE NOT IN MINE EITHER. STOP TAKING MY STUFF. EFF YOU.

p/s: Taking long, luxuriant showers with delicate body scrubs won't make you magically light-skinned: You've got to talk to God (or a plastic surgeon) to turn your charcoal skin into fair ivory (like mine).

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Late Night Travel

Since there was no exam today, last night I went out with a friend of mine...not really to have fun, but to catch up. Went over to his house first (he had to take his bath first - just finished work) then we went to Sg. Chat for dinner. Had Kelapa Laut with shaved ice and also Sotong Kangkung. I glanced into the kitchen and saw the cook scooping out a ladleful of Kerang Rebus. I had to resist temptation. Due to the vibrating tummy of mine, we went home afterwards to settle this toilet business~~~

Around 11.30pm we went out again. This time we went to Sentosa for the best bubur in town. I don't know why it's the best, but it tastes really...well it doesn't taste any different, neither better or worst than the standard fare; I guess it's the surrounding atmosphere and the crowd that improves its quality. Besides, the taste reminds me of home. ;) Along with the Bubur, we also ate Kerang Rebus...yummy~

After Bubur, we went round and round JB; he also brought me to Jalan Serampang, where a royal residence is situated (another one is in the Danga area) and then I was given a brief lecture on Johor...So enriching. :D

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Monday Eve Run!

Monday evening run was a very colorful one; not in the light-of-different-wavelengths kind, but of human colors. there were practically every shape, size, and of course colors of people on the jog today. I had my run from K11-KTHO-KDSE-KRP and back.

There were people of all skin colors, ranging from dark skinned to olive, tawny, up to doe-brown and also pearly complexion. Today kinda reminds me off Lord of The Rings, too: the variations in body types was astounding. There were elves, humans, dwarves and of course, orcs. I don't mean orcs in a hostile sense, just that I refer to them as orcs coz they have hulking bodies. Hu3

There were big and tall people, which, previously I thought only exist in the US; they were big and hulking, reminiscent of the jocks of the American Pie franchise, as well as other US teenage flicks. Running past them, I can't help feeling a sense of security (guess it's the lack-of-older-brother syndrome that is evident in me since forever). Wish I had brothers like them. Hu3~

Then there were the elvenkind: tall and lithe. these were the true runners (I think), with long legs and lithe bodies that practically slices through the air with least resistance. Oh, and then there were the dwarves: no offense, people. I only refer them as dwarves because they have powerfully built bodies but lack the height seen in the rugby jocks. These weren't runners, but they also would benefit tremendously from the cardio massage provided by running.

The humankind on the other hand, presents a variation of the elves and dwarves (and giants). They represent the middle curve of human normality, leaning to neither extremities. Sort of everyman in all professions, they are of great numbers.

Another group also deserves a mention here: those with less-than-desirable bods. I have seen a handful of these on the run...I FEEL FOR YOU GUYS!!!! and all I will say is kudos for making the first step in improving your lives. Exercising is the best medicine for weight issues. Keep up the good work guys! :D

The weather today was also great for running: neither hot nor cold. So I was able to perform greatly without tiring myself from the heat, and also not be bothered by the clamminess of cold weather. I was conscious about my calves, though; they were sounding the alarm of potential soreness, so I was aware of it during the entire run. I guess a dose of Aspirin is in order later. Hu3~

Anyway, this is exam week. It's understandable why the running crowd increases in number: everybody is wiggin' out in their rooms, tired of numb buttocks sitting and reading all day long. Come out of your cocoons, people! :D

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Two nights of Johor...omen of leaving UTM for good?

Left UTM on Friday afternoon..to crash at a friend's place. Kind of last minute, but it went on just fine. Except for the part where we had to go throught the rain (at least HE has a jacket on. Ceyt~) Anyway, after that, we arrived at his house, showered and changed and went to Bukit Indah AEON. I swear, it looks like Tebrau City. LOL~ So we went window shopping. Afterwards, its JB Bazaar. The night life here - spectacular. Stalls selling bundle and cheap clothes. Haven, practically. Bought a shirt, but didn't take a pic of it. Maybe you'll see it when you see me later. :D And there was one part of the bazaar that was uber-cool. I was so embarassed going in there coz I was soooooooooo under-dressed for the place. Everybody was so cool-looking, I felt like a dork. UBER-dork....Hu3~ Then we sat at the mini open-theatre to enjoy a live performance. Not a band, but it's a traditional quartet. They performed songs. The girl was cute. :D Then we finished off the night with a stroll on Danga Bay Marina...nicely cool, the weather was. Actually it's damn cold. Hahaha~



The cool part of JB Bazaar - sorry, the pic's blurry. Hik3~



The ghazal performance at JB Bazaar. Cool.




Danga Bay Marina...full of couples and crazy Singaporeans on multi-bicycles that night. Ha3


Then the next day, woke up at 12.30pm coz we stayed up watching movies. Hahaha~ Then we were struck by sleeping sickness - slept in the afternoon up till evening. Then showered and everything, headed for Tebrau City...walked through all clothes store - Padini, Reject Shop, the sports equipment shops...etc. Afterwards, went to Pasar Borong Pandan. Also walked through everything. Oh, did I mention? All these venues we went to by bike. It was FUN!!!!!

Can't help but tasting a bitter taste in my mouth. Will I see Semester 4?

Friday, October 23, 2009

*SIGH*

THE NICE ONES ARE ALWAYS BAGGED. FIGURES - IT ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Thursday Outing~

Today went out with a friend, it was his day off from work...so first we went to his house, he had to finish up his chores after sending his mum to the haemodialysis center. So I checked out my mail and Facebook-ed while he finished up. Then we went to Sutera Mall, he checked out some shoes. I also checked out some stuff, but was not planning to buy anything - saving up to settle fines, summonses and also my recently lost matric card and IC. SHIT MAN, how can it be lost...it's such a freaky happening, I can't even describe it.

I REALLY HOPE THAT IT'S NOT REALLY LOST COZ I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GO HOME DURING THE HOLIDAYS~

Okay back to the original story. Since I haven't go to AEON Bukit Indah before, he took me there. It looked so much like Tebrau City...the similarity was uncanny. Hu3~ So then we walked in. Even the smell was the same. Ha3 he went to buy a Chicken Chop from Shihlin Taiwan Snack Foods, before we headed for A&W. I haven't been to that fast food chain for like, EIGHT years now, and we had the ice cream waffle. It was nice. Then I HAD to finish browsing through the mall. Went to Bossini (he bought a shirt), I went to browse through Padini, and then we headed up to 2nd and 3rd floor.

Bought this Tag for my dearly beloved bag...Hik3 ;)

"NOT YOUR BAG!"
On the way to Sutera Mall, tried out my friend's specs...Love the first one best, personally..;)



Went to Factory Outlet Store while waiting for my friend to take a drag (on a cig)...and found this sloppy and enormous bag! It was the length of my leg, literally. Army-inspired...and totally cute! I have a thing for big and sloppy bags recently, would be so cool and tough-looking, not to mention, convenient for any outings that need a lot of stuff brought AND for flights...and I have eyed bags like this on Nylon Guys too...it cost RM99...totally out of my budget...Urrrmmmmmmmmmm~ wish I have somebody to buy it for me...;)



Anyway...had a blast going out with my friend...but it also made me think...exam's around the corner

Am I having a tad too much fun? ;)


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Mama


This song never fails to make me cry. I LOVE YOU MUM~

Mama thank you for who I am
Thank you for all the things I'm not
Forgive me for the words unsaid
For the times
I forgot

Mama remember all my life
You showed me love,You sacrificed
Think of those young and early days
How I've changed
along the way

And I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
I miss you, I miss you

Mama forgive the times you cried
Forgive me for not making right

All of the storms I may have caused

And I've been wrong

Dry your eyes


Mama I hope this makes you smile
I hope you're happy with my life
At peace with every choice I made
How I've changed
Along the way
And I know you believed in all of my dreams
And I owe it all to you, Mama

Atrocities

I was going through the papers during lunch just now, and I am very, very appalled by what I see - a woman who watches while his Sudanese boyfriend raped, sodomized and violated her young daughter; another news about a father who violently and repeatedly stomped on his son just because the son was caught tearing through his packet of cigarettes.

What is becoming of this world? We regularly see this kind of violence in the animal world, like parents eating their young. But this is done out of necessity, for survival; it is also to weed out the possibility of bad genes passing through the family tree. We as humans, however, are NOT animals; we have neither the real necessity to kill our young out of survival, nor are we financially insufficient enough to kill our offspring. What's worse there is ABSOLUTELY NO reason to commit such atrocities to our children!! Especially the 2nd case where the father violently assaulted his son just because he was tearing through his pack of cigarettes. Why T.F. would he do such a thing??

The world is becoming horribly twisted day by day; children abandoned, abused and assaulted by parents AND vice versa. Let us all pray that no such thing happens to us and our loved ones. Amin.

Peach Blossom

Speaking of peach blossom, it reminds me of the lectures that Lilian Too used to give on channel@15 come Chinese New Year...and this really is the opening of my peach blossom. I joined a few social networking sites, and recently there's a slow and steady flow of people that I don't really know. I just added them, in the interest of knowing more people. This turned out to be VERY, VERY nice: from these new people I have been able to hold a steady conversation, with some I even spoke to like we have known for a long time! What's more, these people are from another age group, older than me. Therefore, from these people I have learnt a lot: older people have more experience, and from them I have learnt a lot of things. Some of these people are from different backgrounds, have different tastes and varying interests. So I am able to diversify my knowledge, and maybe get a tip or two from these unique individuals.

To these special people, I salute you.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Setting myself apart~

Wow. I've subconsciously set myself apart in friendships. I have joined some social networking sites, and they all wanna be friends. I'm fine with that, but in the chats, I set myself apart so distinctly - I make it very clear my wants in a relationship. Because I don't want to be heartbroken ever again. When they chat me up, I always withold some information, and gauge their interests: is it purely for fun? For pleasure only? Or is it for real? I have gone through enough heartbreak: I gave my heart for someone, and the turnout: not even a day-after call/text. It's really heartbreaking. You think you had it real for someone, but they actually only want one thing. And sometimes they don't even read through your profile; they only see a cute face and automatically assume it's what they think it is. well, I'm NOT.

When they ask me for a phone number, I see the way they text: is it fun and flirty? Hot and steamy? Or are they genuinely into me, and want to know more about me? When they move straight into the topic, then it's settled: no strings attached. That hurts like shit, man.

Monday, October 19, 2009

~Silly Pitch~

Once again...im the interest of upping their profits, companies have utilized the power of the naivety of consumers. Noticed this while going to Jusco Taman U with Juju my bestie: the latest so-called innovation: the pen that is sold according to the users' active hand: a leftie-pen or a rightie-pen. Upon closer inspection (and touch-feel-use session) I found no difference whatsoever; this is some kind of sales pitch to trap consumers into buying stuff. Sure, there was a research conducted that proved thousands of lefties getting killed by using rightie-designed products, but I doubt that pens are a major cause of death; its just a symmetrical stick with an ink-filled shaft, designed for writing (and doodling, for me). This company started the hype about how their pencils are superior and "meets exam's guidelines and markin-machine settings". Please. I went through three exams fine and safe without ever using their specially-designed pencils (I even used mechanical pencils for their better accuracy and cleanliness, duh).

Enough of silly sales pitches. went to Jusco to tame this ever-increasing boredom. Originally I planned to bring Nisa and Syaz, but they weren't interested...so it ended up with me and Juju only. We ate at Sushi King. The seared saury was positively nice. I had a bit of a difficulty making the decision of what to eat; Sushi King was like the KFC of sushi, so everything was not really healthy Japanese fare; things were deep-fried, too salty or too sweet. So anyway, afterwards we went to MPH; I bought the monthly Men's Health, practically a bible for health, along with a couple of pens for the upcoming exam (my pen's running low on ink). What struck me happy was the total: normally with US Men's Health and pens the total would be RM21.40; the total was RM11.60. That means that the cashier sold me a US edition MH with a Malaysian edition's price (RM10). Nice. After that, went to Secret Recipe. Finally tamed my craving for a cake...Chocolate Indulgence. Finally, we got back into campus after Juju bought his pack of cigs.

Went running at 6pm; today was an active day. I guess the students were squirming in their seats after a full-day of studying; groups of runners (oddly, pro-runners and cyclists were nowhere to be seen) were everywhere. Hu3~ Ran from dorm, into the Lingkaran Ilmu, went into KRP, ran two rounds around the KRP pond, then proceeded home through KDSE-KTHO shortcut. fine audience today; lookers were everywhere (they were part of the reason why I ran twice around the pond LOL).

Music and Whatnots

Can't believe exam's around the corner. Waiting to pounce on me. and the rest of the UTM community. Plus, a presentation on Wednesday.INDUSTRIAL PHOTOGRAMMETRY...Ugh. Dammit. Hahah~

But that's not what this entry's about. Keh3

Just got new music from my friend. Well technically it's not fresh tunes, but I've borrowed some CDs of songs that I've never heard of before: Enya and Telepopmusik as well as Carpenters Gold and Il Divo. I used to have Il Divo but in a cruel twist of fate, it was deleted, how and why I don't know. Just sitting at my desk, trying to summon the spirit to study...dammit N, I went to your room to access the Internet and guess what, you were not awake yet. "Come over to my room if you wanna go online." MY Foot.

Currently loving La Roux, Little Boots and Ladyhawke. What are the odds of all three singers having the same initials, huh? For the time being, I've only listened to one song each; Bulletproof, New In Town and My Delirium. My brother recommended Kings of Leon, but have got one song only for now: Use Somebody. That turned out great as well as the three L girls. Hu3

Telepopmusik is also very nice on the ears - they're like this French electro-pop (I think; I forgot what I read about them last night) and the album is nice. Very Moby-like. Enya I have yet to listen to; I'm waiting for the right mood to set in. Right now I feel very bubbly, so Enya music will not go well right now. Haha~


CECI EST UN IT BAG


Finally..I bought the coveted bag...costs way under what I allocated. The original price was RM80, then the 2nd time I went it went to RM60....when I finally bought it, it's RM50! So worth the wait. Keh3~

Exam's around the corner...so afraid. Gonna study my ass off...InsyaAllah, everything's gonna be alright... :D

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

T.E.N.S.I.O.N.

I am going CRAZY. I have summonses, fines and money that I owe friends to settle; on top of that I have a Ko-Q DINNER that needs paying. PLUS I have an upcoming EXAM. Assignments I have NOT done, thank you very much; I will have no money to go to KL, to go for my semesterly ritual to seek refuge there at my aunt's place during study week. Will miss October's Men's Health. Will have little money left for myself. Will run out of supplies. Will run out of SANITY.

BLEAK.

DEPRESSED.

EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE.

DESPAIR.

BOREDOM.

FEAR OF WHAT THE FUTURE BRINGS.

EMPTINESS.

FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES.

NO LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.

ZOMBIE-LIKE.

~shall i slit my wrist now?~

Today in History LOL~

had to pull myself outta bed today - slept at 3.30am then woke up at 7.00am - one hour early than intended. so i let myself sleep for another hour, but practically kept one eye open - i've had nasty experience of oversleeping these extra hours, so i'd better be cautious. so then i woke up at 7.48am. executed the daily cleansing ritual, and headed to class.

class was sleepy, as always - scribbled notes to prevent dozing off. but one hour was my absolute attention span limit with an empty stomach, so 10-11 was spent chatting with my coursemates and fiddling with my phones. afterwards, i thought i'd have brunch with coursemates but no, they were occupied with other stuff, so i decided to pay a visit to the pejabat bendahari. wow, i thought - nobody's in. the tally signalled 1042. i pressed the number dispenser - 1043. the kakak at the counter promptly pressed the next button. my turn...gave her a sheepish smile, handed her my summonses slip. she then said adik, dorg blom key-in la. i was like @$#^%$# ...how could they have not keyed-in the summponses. i went to pay late on purpose because i knew they'd need time to key it in, but this is unacceptable. so i told her thanks, asked a bit about the JPA thing, then said thanks again before heading out. messaged my friend to tell him i'd be in my room so if he finished class he'd fetch me there for lunch outside. before heading back i went to the kiosk in fron of the mosque to buy some snacks: bread pudding and custard cakes (i think), plus kiwi juice. then i headed back. had lunch later, finished it, and now i'm typing this entry.

now there's some sort of function at the cafe (i think) coz it sounds so noisy and happening up there. thunder's booming up in the sky - a downpour is expected. i dunno what's gonna happen to me - so little time to jog now. i think i'd start morning jogs instead - the weathers peachy in the morning. hu3~

To Dearest LM:

- I have no say in your life; you shall go wherever you choose.

- Know that you'll always be near and dear in my life.

- I will cherish the moments that we had.

- Nobody will ever replace you, nobody will be able to.

- Wherever you chose to go, may happiness follow you.

- THANK YOU, LM.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

It's PERPLEXING~

It's PERPLEXING...~

I really don't need the extra stress now, but I am starting to juggle, and that only means one thing: I'm Getting...F4T!!! It's such a dirty word, the mere mention of it send shivers down my spine. And yet, I can't resist the Malaysian pastime of EATING...

Just got back from cafe - Shelly's Nasi Lemak and Rice+Tempeh+Kangkung in hand...with a guilty conscience in mind. Perhaps it was another being controlling my body when I bought these. Their Nasi Lemak is irresistible...Hu3~

New Eating Plan:
- Lessen Carbs
- Moderate Protein Intake
- More Veggies (especially purgative/laxative ones; ie fibre-rich)


Please, I've worked hard to achieve this..don't let it slip away....:(

Monday, October 12, 2009

Nothing to Do...?

Had nothing to do - decided to pick up the loose change that is strewn all over my room - always step on them - why not pick'em up for a change (no pun intended) - search every nook and cranny - PICK UP PICK UP PICK UP - tally them up - RM4.10

ABC & AIS JAGUNG, ANYONE? :D

cLuMSy mE~

Today's 2pm class was nonexistent, thank goodness. Was NOT in the mood for a class - missed lunch NO THANKS to a certain smug-faced lecturer and his morning class...feels like bitchslapping his face everytime his class is on. So we just went to the 2pm class to get the assignments from the lab computer and went back to dorm. The sky was going gray, so I thought it wise to go back now before rain pours.

Arrived in my room after tapau rice+fried chicken at Ismat's...had to go there because Shelly's is mysteriously closed. Got to the cafe thanks to Miqdad...he stopped to give me a ride midway back to the hostel. The Abang Roti John even complimented me on my outfit today:striped shirt, black jeans that skim my legs with Vans slip-ons. Understated elegance. :P

After arriving in my room, I felt lucky, so I scooped up my laundry (practically pouring over the edge), the washing powder, and headed to the laundry room. Lucky me, it's unoccupied! So I put the money in, mixed the powder with the water, and threw my load in. Seeing that the load wasn't full, I went back to the room to get my blanket and sheets, along with other should-be-washed-but-didn't-coz-they-still-look-and-smell-fresh pieces of clothing. I was aghast when I returned to see my handphone sitting comfortably on the sink. Thank goodness nobody swiped it. Hu3...after throwing in the rest of the load (and then using another tenant's fabric softener, I might add) I returned to my room to eat my late lunch. Then I got online, checked my Facebook, my mail, chatted with some friends, and it was time to get the laundry. OMG I did it again...the phone was still there! I forgot to take it again, this time I'm really lucky, Alhamdulillah...third time should be the charm, but I bet it's NOT for me. ;)

Now rain is pouring ouside. Good thing, 'coz I don't plan to run today. My calves' getting funky. Better let them rest first. Hu3~
Thinking of You - Katy Perry

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed

You said move on, where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I've had the best?
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test

He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!
(Taste your mouth)
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into

You're the best, and yes, I do regret
How I could let myself let you go
Now, now the lesson's learned
I touched it, I was burned
Oh, I think you should know!

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your, your eyes
Looking into your eyes, looking into your eyes

Oh, won't you walk through?
And bust in the door and take me away?
Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay

!%$@%#%$@

What an effin' class. It was supposed to end at 12.30pm, but push and push and push, we finally got out at 1.40pm! I had a lunchdate slotted with a friend this afternoon, and he was already waiting at C06. Just as I was typing a message to notify him, his message came in: "I'm going back to class. It's too late already." !$@%#$@%#$ was going through my brain: fueled by adrenaline levels,and further aggravated by an empty stomach. I felt like throwing a chair at HIM. WTF?! So what if we haven't finished the work? We could finish it in our rooms; it's not a big deal. Just because we are students we don't get a say? Don't get me started on Human Rights.

So I was apologizing profusely to my friend; although he said it's okay, I doubt he's really okay. I made him wait one hour just coz of the stupid person. So what if he's great at what he does. He still is stupid for letting us out THAT late.


I'M SORRY FRIEND...;(

Gosh...Cannot Sleep!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Good Morning Malaysia~

Hye hye goodmorning...crashed at a friend's place last night...helped out with his open house preparations for today. as a result, slept at one, woke up at six coz he had to go fetch his mum in Tebrau...so here i am now, back in my room and facing my laptop...:D

What to talk about: while helping out, he gave a preview (or rather, pre-taste) of the menu for today: Mee Bandung. but he cooked so much of it and ordered me to finish it all by myself! it was tasty...(long time no taste home-cooked meal) but not spicy enough he cant stand spicy, you see...hu3

Anyway, good luck for your open house today friend, may it go smoothly :D

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Hurrrrmmmmmmmmm

How to say this....I'M HEARTBROKEN! Even though it's an old wound, on its way to healing....but something reopened the wound, releasing excruciating pain...OMG, please help me through these tough times...

Lily Allen - Fuck You Very Much

I heart Lily Allen - her songs are piece-of-her-minds that are conveyed through seemingly soft and harmless songs, further strengthened by her soft voice.

Look inside, look inside your tiny mind

and look a bit harder
cause we’re so uninspired
so sick and tired
of all the hatred you harbor

so you say it’s not okay to be gay
well I think you’re just evil
you’re just some racist who can’t tie my laces
your point of view is medieval

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause we hate what you do
and we hate your whole crew
so please don’t stay in touch

fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause your words don’t translate
and it’s getting quite late
so please don’t stay in touch

do you get, do you get a little kick out of being small-minded?
you want to be like your father
it’s approval you’re after
well that’s not how you’ll find it

do you, do you really enjoy living a life that’s so hateful
cause there’s a hole where your soul should be
you’re losing control of it
and it’s really distasteful

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause we hate what you do
and we hate your whole crew
so please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause your words don’t translate
and it’s getting quite late
so please don’t stay in touch

Look inside, look inside your tiny mind
and look a bit harder
cause we’re so uninspired
so sick and tired
of all the hatred you harbor

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause we hate what you do
and we hate your whole crew
so please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause your words don’t translate
and it’s getting quite late
so please don’t stay in touch